Jago Kain
Amarr
Ramm's RDI
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Posted - 2007.12.06 13:26:00 -
[1]
I'm currently sponging off the state in the UK atmà itÆs a bit like ISK farming in EVE, but without the sense of honour and fairplay.
I have seven, assorted children locked in the attic whilst I sit downstairs, in front of a stolen 40 inch plasma screen, drinking and smoking their child benefit.
I've hidden their three mother's bodies in a sealed off cellar, but as they were all on the sick (yuppie flu, un-disprovable back injuries and being Scottish respectively) none of them were having to go in to sign on, so I've been collecting their Incapacity Benefit and Disability Living Allowance payments for 3, 4 and 7 years, and I've not been rumbled just yet.
This affords me an excellent standard of living that I might otherwise have to work for.
In fact, I have just returned from a three week tour of Thailand, Hong Kong and India. The kids were pleased to see me backà they were screaming and crying with happiness as I unlocked the attic; at least, they were when their eyes had adjusted to normal light after a nearly a month without their customary one hour in the yard per day. Bless... I love them kids I do.
I supplement my overly generous benefits package by working part-time as an assistant to a local producer of animal training videos. Folk are sometimes very surprised by the range of things you can train canines and equines to do.
I must admit, the wages aren't that good, and I had to do more than a week in hand, but I get a great deal of on the job satisfaction from working in the independent film industry.
Usually, I blow everything on the dogs.
As a former Young Conservative organiser, a fully paid up member of the BMW owners' club and a pipe-smoker to boot, there were very few other careers I was cut out for.
I was thinking about joining the local Territorial Army to get an idea about military life but I didnÆt like the biscuits they gave us on the ôLook At Lifeö week-end, and one of the Corporals kept trying to order me about.
I also started up an agency to sell Third-World babies to under-achieving musicians and film stars in the west, but that market reached saturation point some time ago and the demand just isnÆt there to support another agency. I ended up with a lot of stock on my hands that I just couldnÆt get rid ofà not even to out-in-the-third-vote Big Brother contestants or tabloid columnists.
I currently breed Rottweillers in the 10' by 10' concrete yard the kids take their daily hour in. Which reminds me; I MUST remember to make sure I feed the dogs before letting the kids out next timeà little Jamie-Bono's hand will take months to heal, and his piano playing is really going to suffer with only 7 fingers.
I'm actually doing quite well with the Rotties, and I'm hoping to show Cowdenbeath's Unrelentingly Vile Meat-sack, or "Gordon" as we call him, next year at Crufts. I've been dying to enter him since he was a pup, but it's only this year that I think Gordon is really ready for it. I hope the judges will be pleased with our performance.
Other than that I don't really do a lot irl that doesn't involve the consumption of copiuous amounts of tax-payer-subsidised alcohol and prescription strength drugs.
So, IÆm no different to the vast majority of the EVE community really.
Incidentallyà if any of the ESA high-ups read this, can you please let me know how my application is going? ItÆs been three months and you still havenÆt got back to me.
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